When success is loud but feels off
It’s late October, your calendar hums, and on paper you’re thriving. Inside, it’s mixed. You shipped big goals, yet a quiet voice asks: Is this the kind of success I want to multiply?
“A value isn’t a destination; it’s how you travel.”
Align ambition with values, then set goals
Here’s the reframe: values first, goals second. A value describes how you want to show up—curious, present, bold—while a goal is a measurable outcome. When goals express who you are, they stop being boxes to tick and start feeling like you.
Turn intention into SMART moves in 4–8 weeks
Use a two-tier approach: intention as your north star, then a SMART goal for the next 4–8 weeks.
- If your intention is presence: phone-free dinners for 30 minutes, three nights a week, for one month.
- If your intention is vitality: move your body 20 minutes daily for 30 days; or target 10,000 steps by March to feel energetic and capable.
- If your intention is leadership: ask one better question in every meeting for four weeks.
Design systems that reduce friction
Habits are context-dependent. Make the desired action obvious and easy; make the competing behavior hard.
- Simplify cues: phone in a drawer before dinner; a tent card that reads “Be here now.”
- Preload effort: shoes by the door; calendar block titled “Show up for 20 minutes.”
- Visible tracking: a tiny checkbox grid labeled Curiosity in your notebook.
- Momentum over intensity: focus on consistent B-minus reps.
Avoid common derailers and restart fast
Two big blockers: external pressure and perfectionism. Quick diagnostic:
- Whose goal is this—mine or theirs?
- If no one knew I did it, would I still care?
If it points outward, rewrite: “I choose this goal to express [vitality/learning/family/creativity/leadership].” Then add an if–then: If I miss two days, then I restart within 24 hours with the tiniest version (10 minutes of movement, five minutes of focus, one intentional question). No perfection tax.
Review, align, and enroll your people
Run a monthly review (20–30 minutes):
- What worked? Where did I drift?
- Which values showed up in my calendar?
- What will I try for the next 30 days?
Quarterly, zoom out: Do my SMART goals still express who I’m becoming? Name trade-offs at work and at home.
Invite partners at work and in life:
- To a manager: “I’m prioritizing curiosity and clarity this quarter—one better question per meeting and a Friday summary. Where will this have most impact?”
- To a partner: “I’m testing phone-free dinners three times a week. Can you join me or help protect that window?”
Try a 7-day micro-sprint
- Step 1: Name one intention.
- Step 2: Translate it into a tiny 7-day SMART goal.
- Step 3: Make one environment tweak to cue it.
- Step 4: Track with pen and paper. Celebrate each check.
- Step 5: Day 7: Did this feel like me? Extend to 30 days or refine.
Bring it home
Ambition is your fuel; values are your steering. Let them travel together so progress feels sustainable, steady, and satisfying. Affirmation for the week: I don’t chase outcomes; I express my values daily.
This is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Consult a qualified expert for personal guidance.